Original article by Jennifer Thompson from Indy’s Child: https://issuu.com/indyschild/docs/0121-ic-issuu
Happy. Angry. Frustrated. Scared. Excited. These are just a few of the many emotions that cab be felt in a day. It isn’t always easy to identify and articulate how we are feeling, and frustrations can build the more we feel misunderstood. This can be ever more so for children with special needs.
Original article from Indy’s Child
Anyone else feel anxious? Given the current state of our reality, I am assuming that question would be met with a resounding “YES.”
So, what is anxiety anyway? Anxiety can be defined as a feeling of nervousness, worry or unease, typically about a future event or a situation with an uncertain outcome. Although uncomfortable, the purpose of anxiety is important and can often be helpful. Our experience of anxiety is natural and exists to alert us about possible future threats that might require a heightened state of vigilance. Anxiety can also act as a motivator, helping us to get out of bed in the morning or complete a task that’s been hanging over our head. But, when we notice anxiety persisting throughout our day, even when the possibility of threat has passed, it might be time for an emotional tune-up.
You’re excited your kids are getting older and more independent, but you often reflect back on the days when you weren’t constantly hearing about the “drama” going on in 8th grade. It’s difficult to know what to do when every other day your daughter seems to have a new best friend and there’s continuous talk of “The Mean Girl”. Add on top of that the technology that teens have to deal with, it’s hard to figure out how to best support your child and ensure that they are handling all this interpersonal conflict in a positive way. Here are a few ideas of how to handle The Mean Girl and support your teen so you both can (hopefully) avoid wanting to rip your hair out.
Original article from Indy’s Child
August is upon us, closing down those last bits of summer and pulling back the curtain for a brand-new school year. Here’s the truth though, there is only one thing about the future I can tell you for certain: this year will be different. By now, most of us have heard our school’s tentative back-to-school plan for the fall but given the fragility of certainty we have seen over the past few months, that “plan” might not feel so secure. As a parent, that makes me feel uncomfortable, and probably you too. You might have been a care-free, go with the flow kind of person before becoming a parent, but if you don’t agree that after having kids it’s best to have some sense of plan about the future, then you’re probably lying to yourself. For most people, uncertainty and ambiguity about their future is unsettling. And, if we adults are unsettled, I guarantee our kids are feeling it, too. Here are a few ideas about how best to navigate your family’s uncertainty bus through the new school year.
Over the past week, our country has been rocked by the news of George Floyd’s unnecessary death at the hands of the police. This video, coming on the heels of countless others, shows the continued injustices and challenges faced by the black community. Our children are learning and absorbing information from the world around them and as parents, we have the unique opportunity to help guide them through discussions about the hard stuff that is necessary to bring about change. At times, our parental instincts are to shelter and protect them from the world when it gets scary, but that is a privilege that unfortunately, not all families have. Black families and children have been having deep conversations about racism and inequality from early on as they have faced discrimination on a systemic level for decades. Now more than ever, it is important to have conversations about race and racism with your children, particularly in households that have not been having these discussions. So, where do we start? Here are five suggestions on how to navigate this conversation with your children:
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Published in Indy’s Child Newsletter
Okay parents, time to get serious about reinforcing our children’s positive body image. Recent studies indicate that over 90% of women and girls are currently dissatisfied with their body shape and size. Forty to 60% of men and boys reported dissatisfaction as well. These studies included children as young as 5 years old! For kids, body dissatisfaction can be a predictor of low confidence, self-esteem issues, and disordered eating as they become teenagers. But parents, we are not helpless here, there are steps you can take to create and reinforce a positive body image in your child.
Published in Indy’s Child Newsletter
Last year, the LEGO Foundation released its “Play Well Report”, a survey of over 12,000 adults and children exploring the link between happiness and time spent playing together as a family. The results revealed a strong link between the number of hours a family spends playing together and an overall sense of family happiness. For children, play is essential to healthy physical and emotional development. It teaches them how to interact with others, how to think critically, and problem solve effectively. Play offers them an opportunity to establish their sense of self, expand their imaginations and foster creativity, as well as learn to cope with difficult emotions in situations they can control. For adults, play helps to relieve stress, stimulate creativity, and improve cooperation, among other things. And, for families, play fundamental for good communication skills, teaching empathy and compassion, and building trust.
Published in Indy’s Child Newsletter
Dear Fellow Parents,
If you’re anything like me, you may need a lighter perspective following the first week of our strange, new, COVID-19 reality. So, hear you go: Congratulations! I mean it. This past week was one of the most difficult, slow-moving, parenting experiences I’ve had so far. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my children, I love spending time with them, but there is nothing like the task of facilitating e-learning with absolutely no option of escape to make you question your ability to be a quality parent. And this of course is the best-case scenario, one in which you are not personally or directly affected by the actual illness. So, here’s the thing to know, you are a great parent, and now, more than ever, I want to make sure you hear me when I say, we are all doing the very best that we can right now. And, it is good enough! Enough is the important word here, enough. We do not have to be homeschooling super stars or master the art of cooking a week’s worth of kid-friendly meals from whatever you currently have in your pantry – we just have to be good enough. Lower your expectations of yourself, settle into the moment, and give yourself a high-five if you can currently locate all of your children.
Simply put, “schemas” can be referred to as “life traps”. Life traps are self-defeating patterns of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that keep us stuck. Do we all have life traps? Yes, and here is why: none of us get out of childhood unscathed. Try as they may have, none of our parents ever peaked at perfection. We have all experienced trauma in our lives, believe it or not. Whether that be “trauma” with a lowercase “t”, “Trauma” with a capital “T”, or all caps “TRAUMA”, we have all had our needs neglected at some point or another, or terrible things have happened to us in varying degrees. The bottom line is, life traps are unfortunately easy to develop.
There are many growing pains in those weeks, months and years after a divorce occurs. Ex-spouses adjust to their new normal and often experience feelings of fear, sadness, relief, joy and confusion as they try to rebuild their lives. During this time, they may also find themselves in situations where they are still communicating to each other in ways that contributed to the divorce. These interactions are often combative, malicious and hurtful. Unfortunately, many of the negative characteristics that were present in the failed marriage will often transfer over to the post-divorce relationship, which, in turn, continue to affect the children.