The desire to lose weight is actually pretty normal due to the fact that we all live in a very weight focused and fatphobic society. The pressure to make our bodies look a certain way seems to have become our main purpose as humans. We are not born believing there is something wrong with our bodies, but overtime are conditioned to think that way. Certain industries capitalize on these beliefs. We latch onto superficial cultural goals- like having a “good body”- to feel as though we have achieved something important. If we fail to achieve this ideal it tends to become more of a personal failure rather than a fault of the damaging message itself. These industries and messages promise us that once the “ideal body” is reached, that “everything will be better”.
Eating Disorders- about the food or not about the food?
Eating disorders are both about the food and not about the food.
Exercise can be a difficult thing to navigate during eating disorder recovery. I often find that clients struggle to differentiate between whether they are truly exercising for enjoyment or if they are exercising with eating disorder motives. There are a few ways to first identify if you have a dysfunctional relationship with exercise, and several steps to take in order to find balance and make peace with it once more.
Eating disorder recovery coaches assist clients in reaching their treatment goals in real life situations by providing ongoing support, challenges, and serving as both a role model and a guide. Coaching is an important aspect of treatment by accompanying clients in everyday situations as well as providing exposure and response prevention. Coaches are trained in how to best support a client in making day-to-day behavior changes necessary for recovery.
Many couples who come to see me for marital counseling say “we can’t communicate”, or “we argue about everything.” In fact, it’s not unusual for them to say both! Whether it’s what to do on the weekend, who does what chores, or how one partner looks at someone of the opposite sex, conflicts seem to spring up all over the place, never resolved. While conflict is normal in marriages, it can also lead to much pain if not handled in a healthy way.
Do you want to participate in New Years’ Eve parties and family gatherings during the holidays, but the thought of being yourself around other people stresses you out? Do you clam up or feel unsure of what to say during social situations? Do your negative thoughts about yourself and how you are perceived run wild? Or–perhaps this is a familiar scenario: you go to family gatherings and friend get-togethers, but feel as if you have to put on a false front in order to fit in. At the end of the day, you are exhausted and you don’t feel any more connected to the people you just spent time with. You feel as if you are on the outside looking in. Everyone else but you seems to connect. For those of us who struggle in the social realm, the holidays have a way of highlighting this perceived deficiency. In fact, social anxiety is the highest diagnosed form of anxiety disorders, so there are probably many of us walking around feeling socially defective at this time of year.
Thankfully, the dawning of the new year can also spark hope. At this time of year, we are driven to reflect on our past and make resolutions for a better future. Perhaps you have not been as involved as you have wanted to be in your social life. Or perhaps you have not wanted to be involved socially, but something in your life seems to be amiss. If you are looking for a New Years’ Resolution, here are the top 5 ways to tackle social exclusion and anxiety in 2020:
Simply put, “schemas” can be referred to as “life traps”. Life traps are self-defeating patterns of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that keep us stuck. Do we all have life traps? Yes, and here is why: none of us get out of childhood unscathed. Try as they may have, none of our parents ever peaked at perfection. We have all experienced trauma in our lives, believe it or not. Whether that be “trauma” with a lowercase “t”, “Trauma” with a capital “T”, or all caps “TRAUMA”, we have all had our needs neglected at some point or another, or terrible things have happened to us in varying degrees. The bottom line is, life traps are unfortunately easy to develop.
We all feel stressed at times. You’ve been meaning to find a way to manage your overall stress levels. You’re going to start a meditation practice…soon. Or, you plan to make physical activity a more regular part of your busy schedule. But, what can you do when you’re running late for work, your kid spills juice on you, and then you get stuck in traffic? Here are 5 tips that can help you decrease stress in the moment.
There always seems to be at least one person in our lives with whom we don’t feel we can share our true thoughts and feelings about. There can be several reasons for this. Maybe we want to be liked. Maybe we’re embarrassed, or we’re simply afraid of what might happen if we tell them. If you were to confront the person or people with whom you have an issue, just imagine how this would free up space in your brain to think about other things.
There are three ways in which people often communicate that are NOT effective. One is not saying anything and letting resentments build. This is called being passive. Another is aggressive communication. This might seem obvious, but aggression doesn’t really do anything for us either, except maybe land us in jail. Aggression can take the form of verbal or physical violence. Trying to control someone else is never the answer, nor should this be an option.
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Mindfulness is one of the four core skills introduced in a highly effective type of therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). DBT incorporates the Eastern practice of mindful meditation into talk therapy. The combination of practicing mindful meditation and evaluating negative thought patterns can significantly increase relaxation and help one cope with strong emotions.
So what exactly is mindfulness and how do we become more mindful? Being mindful is a state of mind that can be achieved with regular practice. Mindfulness is the act of simply observing our thoughts and feelings without imposing judgement on those thoughts or feelings such that they are “good” or “bad”. Let’s be honest, to refrain from judging and criticizing our own thoughts and feelings is a hard feat to conquer. We judge ourselves constantly throughout the day; therefore, it will understandably take a fair amount of practice and time to eventually master this art.
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